{Book Review} Shift by Jeri Smith-Ready

By: | Mar 24, 2012

8542996

Shift
Shade #2
Author: Jeri Smith-Ready
Pages: 367
Pub Date: May 3rd 2011
Publisher: Simon Pulse
Rating: 5 + Birds

Aura’s life is anything but easy. Her boyfriend, Logan, died, and his slides between ghost and shade have left her reeling. Aura knows he needs her now more than ever. She loves Logan, but she can’t deny her connection with the totally supportive, totally gorgeous Zachary. And she’s not sure that she wants to.

Logan and Zachary will fight to be the one by her side, but Aura needs them both to uncover the mystery of her past—the mystery of the Shift.

As Aura’s search uncovers new truths, she must decide whom to trust with her secrets…and her heart.

An open letter to Jeri Smith-Ready:

Dear JSR:
Recently I started reading your SHADE series, by way of loving force from the girls at Fictitious Delicious. I’m writing this letter to prepare you; finically, for the bills you will henceforth be receiving from me for reimbursement I feel is necessary for the emotional and physical damage the SHADE series has thus far caused me.
The fact that I may have enjoyed the aforementioned physical and emotional damage is to be fully ignored, and not a viable piece of evidence in this case.

The actual bill is attached at the bottom, click it for larger view and to print for your records. I’ve provided a detailed description of each item from the bill, here:

$7.00 to be paid for my need of a sleeping pill Rx, so that I might actually catch some Zzzz’s. Your books have kept me up ‘til the late hours of night with it’s heart-stopping plot. Not to mention, the replaying of certain make-out scenes have kept me up ‘til the wee hours of morning….

$57.00 to be paid, weekly for 6 months for the expressed use of marriage counseling. This is really a preventative item, but will no doubt be needed over the course of the next few weeks as my husband starts to find it strange when I buy him a kilt, ask force him to learn a Scottish accent, and most importantly for when I call out “Zachery!” during….well….just during

$1.50 to be paid for a box of shamrock covered band aids. These will be used to cover the stubbed toes and minor injuries I received while trying to walk and read at the same time due the fact your books are purely unputdownable. (Yes, that’s a word. Don’t bother looking it up, it’s too cool for the dictionary)

$23.00 to be paid per hour, for 5 hours of professional house cleaning. It appears over the 2 days I spent reading SHADE and SHIFT I failed to properly take care of my home, and the kids did a bloody good job of taking advantage of my attention being directed elsewhere.

$3.99 to be paid for a box of Kleenex for use during the moments of sobbing I encountered, both happy and sad, while reading. And none of this knock-off shit, I want 3 ply….yeah I said it 3 ply! They better feel like I’m blowing my nose on an angels wings…that’s the softness level I’m reaching for here….

$17.99 to be paid for a case of (preferably red) Gatorade for rehydrating after all the crying induced by the gut wrenching scenes that have left me emotionally wrecked.

$30.00 for a Keeley Brothers t-shirt (of my own design, ordered through cafĂ© press when completed). This is so that when I finish SHINE, and sit sobbing in the corner, rocking back and forth, depressed that I’ve completed the series, people will not stop and try to help me. They will simply see the shirt, put two and two together, realize comforting will not help, and just keep walking.

I am prepared to accept payment by way of: Cash (US Dollars only please). 40 cases of Jammie Dodger Cookies. A trip to Ireland as I’ve only been once and never left the airport or….my personal 1st choice….. 15 minutes alone with Zachary….by a river….you may deliver payment at Team Kilt Con

Sincerely,

Amber Moore Keeley-Moore Sweeney


Full Invoice, For Printing.
Click to enlarge

blank-invoice-ms-word-2003

5birdnew

 

amber1

12 comments:

  1. OH MY GOSH...
    Best freaking review ever!!! I love the invoice :D

    your blog told me today: "Please prove you're not a robot"
    U know what I say? Please prove your worth and DISAPPEAR for good.

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  2. Hahah! This is EPIC! This series is amazing, yeah?!?!

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  3. Arianne, the captcha has been the same since I started the blog...lol I am not sure why it's giving you the hardest time of all.

    Thanks for the compliment on the review - I really had fun writing it! :0) And as always - thanks for stopping in so much! <3

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  4. Every time I see a review for Shift I tell myself to read this book! It has been on my bookshelves forever and your hilarious review has made me want to read it so bad!

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  5. Simply love this review! Very imaginative and spot on ;)

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  6. You win for best review ever! Love love love it!

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  7. You put me to shame with your amazing review skills girl!!! That was amazing!! I had to run down my husband and read it to him (see I'm not the only one who does that to their husbands..right!?...LOL)
    You win best review of the decade!!!

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  8. OMG! I laughed until I cried. Your review is AMAZING and I think you are valid in all of your points.

    Awesome!!!

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  9. Love it! I will buy a T when you make them-to help pay off your debt related to this series ;)

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  10. haha I definitely needed some serious tissues and rehydration after this book. It was so depressing. LOGAN! I LOVE YOU!

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  11. Love the review. I now need to read this!

    Preet @ AWR

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  12. Best. Review. Ever. I also love this series and am just dying to get my hands on a copy of Shine!!! ♥

    ReplyDelete

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